Monday 18 July 2011

Dysfunctional Family

Now there’s a heading that defines tautology. Personally I’ve never seen the need to pre-empt anything to do with ‘family’ with ‘dysfunctional’. It’s a given.  Over the last few weeks, various girlfriends have bemoaned their unhelpful mothers, their uncommunicative siblings, their thoughtless in-laws and other assorted unsympathetic relatives. It seriously sounds like the same script, just different players.

Of course, I’m no exception. As a Mother Who Works, it’s not unusual for new acquaintances to enquire if I have extensive family support. Ha! Discussing my extended family’s interactions would require a whiteboard, some coloured pens, a variety of charts and diagrams and a series of long, tedious workshops.

What is it with relatives? I once had a client who felt they’d crossed the line and actually apologised for talking to me ‘like we were related!’ Says it all really, doesn’t it? There are no platitudes among those who share blood; it’s straight for the jugular with remarks delivering the surprising sting of a nasty paper cut.

Small wonder that I’ve gathered around me a happy group I describe as ‘the relatives who aren’t related.’ They really are the perfect kind – polite but honest, reliable but not dependant, caring but not cloying.

How are your rels? Go on – challenge my theory! Someone out there must dispute this…or confirm ?!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Oprah's final weeks, she interviewed Shania Twain and they discussed how families have this ability to say and do the most horrid of things, then sit down the next day for dinner and it's like nothing ever happened.

It would seem I missed out on the "broom" gene in my family. Everything unpleasant, hard, horrible is swept under the carpet with their trusty brooms, and I'm the only one that notices that that carpet is pretty grotty.

Anyone got a spare broom? because there's no way I can pull that rug out and give it a good airing when everyone refuses to get off it!

What a happy Monday morning comment! Sorry about that everyone.

Mother Who Works said...

Ah... the lumpy carpet. That's one strategy. I guess it works for some - a bit like avoiding picking a scab on a wound.... MWWx

Anonymous said...

Isn't there a saying - " Fish and Family go off in three days!" I have often been told that my extended family relations [ including two marriages where relationships have been maintained] would challenge " Days of our Lives"
A serious [ for that read maniacal] sense of humour is the only the thing that has and con tinues to get me through. You have to laugh!!!!!! JB

Anonymous said...

Come on MWW, if you really want to make this interesting you need to spill some goss on some dysfunctional stuff!

Mother Who Works said...

Tempting.... But there might be an estate at risk!!!! Or not...???? MWWx

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